Friday, October 28, 2005

Too Much Candy?

All my life I’ve had an amazing tolerance for sweets. Some people seem incapable of eating candy in the morning. Some people have limits as to how much they can eat at once. Not me. In fact, the only person I’ve ever met with a higher tolerance for sugar is Ambrosia, who, as her name would indicate, eats only sugar.

Of course, I try to give her a run for her money. The other day I had M&Ms and Pepsi for breakfast. Today I had yogurt for breakfast (okay, it was really more of a lunch since I woke up so late) and Almond Joys and more Pepsi throughout the day. Brinestone’s making hamburgers for dinner, which sounds delicious and satisfying, but I still grabbed a handful of peanut butter M&Ms anyway just to tide me over. When I offered her one, she said, “No thanks. I’ve had too much peanut butter candy today.”

I was flabbergasted. Too much peanut butter candy? I recognized all of these as perfectly good English words, and I could even parse the sentence, but it just didn’t make any sense. Is there really such a thing? My mind was reeling. I’ve been known to eat six regular-sized candy bars in a mere half hour and feel just fine afterwards. It makes me wonder what’s wrong with me. Am I missing an important safety mechanism in my brain that tells me when I’ve had too much sugar? It’s disturbing to think that perhaps I’m malfunctioning in some way.

But it’s more disturbing to think of all those people who can’t enjoy candy like I can.

Blog 5 Replies to “Too Much Candy?”
Jonathon Owen


5 thoughts on “Too Much Candy?

    Author’s gravatar

    Mmmm, candy. There is no such thing as too much peanut butter candy.

    Author’s gravatar

    I used to be able to eat an astonishing amount of sugar, before I pretty much gave it up. I used to love caramels. I think the more of it you eat, the less it affects you. Now I can’t even finish 10 oz. of soda, even with a meal. Oddly, it was after I got out of the sugar addiction group that I actually got off sugar.

    Author’s gravatar

    The really sick thing is not that you can eat that much sugar. It is that you can eat that much sugar and stay so thin. I am reminded of a scene from the Lois&Clark Pilot, when Lois discovers that Clark has cabinets stuffed full of sugary junk . . . and still looks amazing wearing nothing but a towel.

    I think this means I have to hate you. Sorry, nothing personal.

    Author’s gravatar

    I understand completely. Really, it’s my genetics and my metabolism that you hate, and I can’t fault you for that.

    Author’s gravatar

    I, on the other hand, am now at an all-time high–that’s right, I’ve gained thirty pounds since high school. Oh well. One can’t expect to be a champion devourer of sugar without making some sacrifices. If I keep it up, perhaps I can achieve Type II by twenty-five.

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