Friday, November 18, 2005

I Really Need to Gain Some Weight

I already know this is true because people tell me so quite often. Either that or they curse me for being skinny. But today I found conclusive proof of my crippling weight deficiency.

You see, my watch band broke a couple days ago. I’d already replaced the band once, and the watch was looking pretty beaten up and old, so I figured it was time to break down and buy a new watch. I decided to try a metal band—plastic ones always break, fabric ones soak up your sweat and start to smell like old socks, and leather’s usually too expensive or too dressy.

So I picked out one I liked and headed home to adust the band. I popped out the pin and moved the clip over several spaces. Hmm. Still too loose. I moved it a couple more. And a couple more. The band is at tight as it goes, and yet it still rattles around on my skeletal wrist and slides almost halfway down to my elbow if I raise my arm. Sure, it’s nice to not have to worry about my weight, but it’s also nice to be able to buy things that fit.

*sigh* Maybe I’ll just get a children’s watch and hope nobody notices.

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Blog 15 Replies to “I Really Need to Gain Some Weight”
Jonathon
Jonathon Owen

COMMENTS

15 thoughts on “I Really Need to Gain Some Weight

    Author’s gravatar

    *laughs uncontrollably*

    Author’s gravatar

    You could always get a woman’s watch…

    Author’s gravatar

    JB: I guess I use the term “rant” loosely. It was prompted by some things that make me upset, but I wasn’t exactly foaming at the mouth while I wrote it.

    TB: But ending a sentence with a preposition is not an error! I guess admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it, though. And the second step is me hitting you over the head with a copy of Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage—but only because I love you.

    Porteiro: What I’m talking about is cases where you have an optional “that” introducing a clause, like “I said that I knew him.” The rules of English grammar allow you to drop the “that” in such cases. Some people, however, mistakenly believe that you must omit the “that” here, meaning that “I said that I knew him” is wrong and “I said I knew him” is right. It’s completely ridiculous.

    Author’s gravatar

    I knew you people wouldn’t understand.

    Author’s gravatar

    I understand! I understand all too well!

    Author’s gravatar

    Get a Mickey Mouse watch. Or Sponge Bob.

    Author’s gravatar

    I’m with kojabu on this one. Get a Sponge Bob watch. It could be plastic (and therefore neither too dressy nor sweat absorbing), and it’d probably fit just fine. Plus, it’d fit what I know of your personality reasonably well too. ;)

    Author’s gravatar

    I . . . have no response to that.

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    Sponge Bob? There are few cartoons that I hate more. And I don’t think I’d ever get a cartoon watch unless it was Snoopy.

    I ended up getting a combination analog/digital watch with a leather band. It’s dressier than what I’m used to, but I like it. It’s casual but not plasticky. Here it is.

    Author’s gravatar

    I don’t know what it is, but I find Spongebob repellant as well. The drawings are dysthetic, and the voices annoying. I’ve never watched more than a few seconds of it, so maybe my opinions are off base. My feet are 9 3/4. I mainly go for 10s, but it would be nice if 9 1/2 were more widely available. But it’s the one half size most manufacturers just skip.

    Author’s gravatar

    Okay, I’m not a huge fan of Sponge Bob the cartoon. Especially after the whole “I’m ready. I’m ready. I’m ready.” episode. I think that’s really the only thing he said that whole episode. Anyway, the character of Sponge Bob is kinda sweet and/or funny sometimes…meh.

    Glad to hear that you got one you like.

    Author’s gravatar

    Jon Boy,

    THANK you for saying no to the Sponge Bob watch. I saw the comment and thought, “Waitaminute. I never would have pegged him for a SPONGE BOB guy…” But then you mentioned Snoopy, and I thought, “Oh yeah. Snoopy. Huh.” So I’m glad that you hate Sponge Bob like I do, and sad that you don’t hate Snoopy like I do.

    Author’s gravatar

    Cicada, you hate Snoopy?! Why?

    Author’s gravatar

    I wasn’t really serious about the Sponge Bob thing, I’ve never actually seen a full episode, nor do I intend to any time soon. I was just trying to come up with a little kid’s cartoon that they would make watches for, hence the Mickey first.

    Author’s gravatar

    Cicada hates Peanuts. We’ve talked about it before, and we’ve somehow managed to remain friends despite the gulf. I don’t think she’s forgiven me for buying a Joe Cool tie, though.

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